We desire to be accepted and liked. This is fed by our culture. However, discontent can set in when we expect others to understand and approve of our decisions. We have to understand that our journey belongs to us. There are certain lessons that we must go through in order to get to where we are going. This may appear to be a mistake to another based on their perception and previous experiences; nevertheless, these lessons may be essential to our growth and ultimate well-being. Even our closest friends at times will not agree with our choices. This does not necessarily make them wrong; they are just looking out for what they feel is best for us. Ultimately we have to decide what's best for us and errors will be made until we get there.
I do believe friends can be helpful at times for seeing what we are unable to see due to our closeness to the situation. Still, even with their well-meaning advice, we are the ones who will have to live with the consequences of our actions-both positive and what we deem negative. Said friend may be worried and may listen to our woes. They may even help us sweep up some of the mess, but at the end of the day that mess will still belong to us.
The most important person to rely on is ourselves. The spiritual part always knows which path is the best for us to embark on. We feel it...right in the pit of our solar plexus when something feels right or the opposite, yet sometimes we ignore it. Let us work on this, moment to moment. Let us be more mindfully aware of what steps we need to take. Let us not be afraid of putting in the necessary work, of being the pioneer, of being mocked, or the only one who agrees. To remain focused on what we regard as important is key. Let us stay true to who we are, who we choose to be, and the integrity in which we have set for ourselves. Let us see the beauty in our independence.
We will fall. Our society labels these indiscretions as “mistakes”. Mistakes are crucially vital to our development. The proud parent does not berate the toddler learning to walk when they fall after only taking one step. That child is congratulated. For the most part, toddlers do not decide after months of crawling safely on the floor that the next day they must immediately accomplish walking. No, they must first test the waters. This is a magical process to observe. The first step is building the courage to lift themselves up while simultaneously holding on to a sturdy piece of furniture. Once they see that that goes well, possibly after days or weeks, they proceed to taking a few steps around that piece of furniture while concurrently holding on to their safety net. When they are ready they let go, all while maintaining their safe distance within the reach of the furniture in case things don't go well. Later, they take one step away. Eventually they move further away until finally they are confident with standing up in the middle of the room far away from their previous security. They fall a few times while getting the hang of things. The falls may disturb them, but it does not fully dishearten them. The final product is them walking. I've noticed that while our approbation encourages them, they generally start fully walking when there is no one watching. They don't rely on us to tell them when they should walk; they take those steps when they are ready. In their own time. This process is perfection, yet the older we become we convince ourselves that we can skip this process of crawling/falling and get right to walking! With everything!
No other human can dictate our journey. What is right for one most certainly may not be appropriate for another. Our mistakes, if we learn from them, have the ability of leading us to our greatest joys. Just as we would a young child, we need to celebrate all of the milestones that enables us to be who we are.